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Not The Rockefellers
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Ahh..guilty pleasure, salty treasure! Love Slim JIms..
Sooo funny!! Thank you for writing this! I can so relate! Unfortunately, I am like this with all people, not just boys I might be interested in...my spazziness knows no bounds, it seems (and certainly no gender limits--I guess humiliation is an equa…
First impressions...I think I've spent the majority of my life trying to overcome them.
I am just a girl who is constantly trying to redeem herself, because... the first time ever I saw your face I may have:
a) lost my power of speech
b) lost my a…
Evy was my partner in crime. Both of us separately one would consider to be a handful, the two of us together?
Hell in a bucket.
Evy was the embodiment of laughter, salsa, and the Nilla wafer banana pudding recipe from the back of the box. No subs…
Are there some people in your life that are damned near impossible to talk to?
The Monosyllabics who act as if they are being cross examined, Every Magic 8 Ball response is accompanied by an eye roll or a skeptical look. Every draw of breath whispe…
Awesome and totally unique. "Awesome?" "Totally?"
Anyway, great piece!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I have been an abusive daughter.
I have treated my mother just terribly. I don't give her anything to drink or eat, I don't give a shit if she's crawling with infestation or even clean.
I couldn't care less.
It should be…
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I swear, I used to think one of the reasons I was put on this earth was to confound temp agencies.
"No job to small for me to screw up" ( you can insert a stronger verb. That's what's on my business cards)
Sit back and enj…
Ah, Pearl you should work for Successories. "Run. Save your children. Save yourselves". Yeah I could see that on a mug.
And this?
Learn something real. Learn something that doesn't require you to finish what others have started. Learn something th…
Love Christmas Tree Shop! Hmmm...can you register there? :) Seriously, for a buck a piece you'd end up getting a warehouse of wineglasses. Then you can toss them in the fireplace like they do in the movies. :) Rene-- Thanks for the comment.
IMG that is priceless. What an experience. I wish I had had this bit of wisdom before I registered. All my pretty wineglasses broke (cause we're big winos) and I plan to replace them at the Christmas tree shop. They'll be called Royal (Imperial) Lad…
I get no kicks from champagne flutes,and flatware bores me terrifically, too...
Sad, but, true
Practically everything gift ware leaves me totally cold
The only exception I know is when I suddenly turn and see...
Bridezilla.
Most people would fle…
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- What kind of funny chick are you:
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- About Me:
- I am a 15 year old trapped in a middle-aged woman's body. I am one Ring-Ding away from all hell breaking loose. I blog to keep the hamsters from jumping off the wheel.
Not The Rockefellers's Blog
First Impressions
First impressions...I think I've spent the majority of my life trying to overcome them.
I am just a girl who is constantly trying to redeem herself, because... the first time ever I saw your face I may have:
a) lost my power of speech
b) lost my ability to stand upright or
c) spit on you.
It is no secret to my friends, or should I call them handlers, that I am an utter and complete church mouse at parties. I spend too much time observing and not enough time participating in conversation.
You… Continue
I am just a girl who is constantly trying to redeem herself, because... the first time ever I saw your face I may have:
a) lost my power of speech
b) lost my ability to stand upright or
c) spit on you.
It is no secret to my friends, or should I call them handlers, that I am an utter and complete church mouse at parties. I spend too much time observing and not enough time participating in conversation.
You… Continue
Posted on June 27, 2009 at 7:01am — 1 Comment
The Hazard Of Dookie
Evy was my partner in crime. Both of us separately one would consider to be a handful, the two of us together?
Hell in a bucket.
Evy was the embodiment of laughter, salsa, and the Nilla wafer banana pudding recipe from the back of the box. No substitutes.
And gut bombs.
Yes, gut bombs.
Evy had an uncanny knack of developing intestinal distress miles away from the nearest facilities. This would send us into panic mode as we ( she ) were sitting on a ticking time bomb.
If we were in the mall… Continue
Hell in a bucket.
Evy was the embodiment of laughter, salsa, and the Nilla wafer banana pudding recipe from the back of the box. No substitutes.
And gut bombs.
Yes, gut bombs.
Evy had an uncanny knack of developing intestinal distress miles away from the nearest facilities. This would send us into panic mode as we ( she ) were sitting on a ticking time bomb.
If we were in the mall… Continue
Posted on June 9, 2009 at 8:40pm —
Can We Talk
Are there some people in your life that are damned near impossible to talk to?
The Monosyllabics who act as if they are being cross examined, Every Magic 8 Ball response is accompanied by an eye roll or a skeptical look. Every draw of breath whispers "Eff Off"
The Squealers who hog call with glee at every piece of good news. 75% off at Kohl's Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeett!
The Everything My Kid Does Should Be Embroidered On A Pillow who have no problem talking about their child's developin… Continue
The Monosyllabics who act as if they are being cross examined, Every Magic 8 Ball response is accompanied by an eye roll or a skeptical look. Every draw of breath whispers "Eff Off"
The Squealers who hog call with glee at every piece of good news. 75% off at Kohl's Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeett!
The Everything My Kid Does Should Be Embroidered On A Pillow who have no problem talking about their child's developin… Continue
Posted on June 4, 2009 at 11:28am —
Gardening with David Sedaris
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I have been an abusive daughter.
I have treated my mother just terribly. I don't give her anything to drink or eat, I don't give a shit if she's crawling with infestation or even clean.
I couldn't care less.
It should be pointed out, that before you dial social services, I am talking about Mother Earth. And since I don't normally walk around saying Mother Earth, lest I get the "Oh God 360" eye roll, today, in this post, I am calling my yard, Mother.
Ya dig ?
Fortuna… Continue
I have been an abusive daughter.
I have treated my mother just terribly. I don't give her anything to drink or eat, I don't give a shit if she's crawling with infestation or even clean.
I couldn't care less.
It should be pointed out, that before you dial social services, I am talking about Mother Earth. And since I don't normally walk around saying Mother Earth, lest I get the "Oh God 360" eye roll, today, in this post, I am calling my yard, Mother.
Ya dig ?
Fortuna… Continue
Posted on May 20, 2009 at 8:34pm —
Some Assembly Required
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I swear, I used to think one of the reasons I was put on this earth was to confound temp agencies.
"No job to small for me to screw up" ( you can insert a stronger verb. That's what's on my business cards)
Sit back and enjoy the show:
We have a 2 day position open at an educational supplier. It is assembly line work. You just pack orders and get them ready to be shipped.
What do you say? Are you interested?
To be honest, it didn't sound interesting, it sounded borin… Continue
I swear, I used to think one of the reasons I was put on this earth was to confound temp agencies.
"No job to small for me to screw up" ( you can insert a stronger verb. That's what's on my business cards)
Sit back and enjoy the show:
We have a 2 day position open at an educational supplier. It is assembly line work. You just pack orders and get them ready to be shipped.
What do you say? Are you interested?
To be honest, it didn't sound interesting, it sounded borin… Continue
Posted on May 13, 2009 at 9:23pm —
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